It shouldn't be this difficult to buy lunch

Wendy's has a couple of new "cheddar melt" hamburgers on their menu. One has jalapeno peppers and bacon, and the other has just bacon. Basically they are the same sandwich, except that the first one has jalapenos on it. (Possibly also Monterey Jack cheese instead of cheddar.) Both are available in single or double pattie versions.

I walk up the counter, eager to exchange my money for their products and/or services.

Sassan: "Hi, could I get a jalapeno cheddar melt combo, fries, diet Coke please?"
Cashier: "Sure, do you want the jalapeno or the bacon?"
Sassan: "Um, it comes with both, right?"
Cashier: "Right, but I need to know if you want jalapeno or bacon."
Sassan: "Okay, both."
Cashier: "Which one?"
Sassan: "Which what?"
Cashier: "Jalapeno or bacon??"
Sassan: "Both! Like in the picture. See, it's got both jalapeno and bacon. That's what I want."
Cashier: "I understand that, but I need to know whether you want the jalapeno or the bacon."
Sassan: "Huh. Does the jalapeno come with bacon?"
Cashier: "Yes."
Sassan: "Okay, I'll have the jalepeno. With bacon."
Cashier: "Okay. I still need to know if you want the JALEPENO or the BACON."
Sassan: (pointing at picture) "This is what I want. Whatever is in this picture, whatever it's called, that's exactly what I want. Can I order this hamburger right here?"
Cashier: "Okay, that's the jalapeno."
Sassan: "Right. Just don't forget the bacon, like it shows in the picture."
Cashier: "You got it. One jalapeno."
Sassan: "With bacon."
Cashier: "Okay. But I'm still waiting for you to tell me which version you want."
Sassan: "Pardon?"
Cashier: "Which one do you want, the 1/4 pound or the 1/2 pound?"
Sassan: "What, like one pattie or two patties?"
Cashier: "Right, that's what I keep asking you."
Sassan: "Um, 1/2 pound."
Cashier: "Okay."
Sassan: "It's just that you kept asking me whether I wanted the jalapeno or the bacon, not whether I wanted one pattie or two."
Cashier: "Oh, well it comes with both jalapeno and bacon, I guess what I meant to ask was whether you wanted the single or the double."
Sassan: "It was confusing."
Cashier: "Yes."
Sassan: "Okay."
Cashier: "Okay."
Sassan: "Okay."

If you're still reading, waiting for the punchline, there isn't one, because this isn't a joke.


Anonymous said…
The master of anagrams strikes again.

Grub Harem, eh?
Crankster said…
You could look at it as buying lunch, or you could look at it as a brief course in hostage negotiations with a jalapeno burger on the side.

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