Overheard at work

I've been keeping a list of funny things I overheard at work. When I'm in a meeting and typing on my BlackBerry, you might think I'm replying to a really urgent email, but I'm probably just adding what you said to my notepad.

Names have been withheld to protect the innocent.

  1. Is it important that BlackBerry encrypts your email? It depends. Do you have a wife who is technically savvy? And do you have a mistress?
  2. Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product.
  3. You call it interdependency. I call it payback.
  4. I've operationalized suckiness, but it still sucks.
  5. The training program was 60 minutes of great content... spread over 2 full days.
  6. My vacation was good. I went up north and saw a bunch of deer snowmobiling.
  7. It's like stapling a butterfly to a desk. There's no way it would continue to be a butterfly.
  8. Programming is like sex. Make one mistake, and support it for the rest of your life.
  9. Skydiving? Anybody who jumps out of a perfectly operational aircraft is out of their mind.
  10. Common sense is very uncommon.
  11. It's just a bunch of overeager project managers trying to turn themselves into verbs.
  12. Our business strategy is like the world's oldest profession. We'll do anything for money.
  13. But that's reality. It's like winter: it just happens.
  14. I thought I told you to bring your BlackBerry back so we can give it to someone who knows what they're doing!!
  15. That would be like me taking a course in sarcasm.
  16. When the map and the terrain differ, believe the terrain.
  17. There's nothing non-stupid about that.
  18. That question is so bad, it should be taken out back and shot!
  19. It's a pyramid of marbles. One moves, everything else has to move.
  20. Don't run off at the mouth. You'll end up tripping over yourself and implicating yourself.
  21. I'm not a vegetarian. I figure if it's already dead, I might as well eat it. I'll eat anything that had eyelashes.
  22. You're a walking ROI!


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