Overheard at work
I've been keeping a list of funny things I overheard at work. When I'm in a meeting and typing on my BlackBerry, you might think I'm replying to a really urgent email, but I'm probably just adding what you said to my notepad.
Names have been withheld to protect the innocent.
Names have been withheld to protect the innocent.
- Is it important that BlackBerry encrypts your email? It depends. Do you have a wife who is technically savvy? And do you have a mistress?
- Failure is not an option. It comes bundled with your Microsoft product.
- You call it interdependency. I call it payback.
- I've operationalized suckiness, but it still sucks.
- The training program was 60 minutes of great content... spread over 2 full days.
- My vacation was good. I went up north and saw a bunch of deer snowmobiling.
- It's like stapling a butterfly to a desk. There's no way it would continue to be a butterfly.
- Programming is like sex. Make one mistake, and support it for the rest of your life.
- Skydiving? Anybody who jumps out of a perfectly operational aircraft is out of their mind.
- Common sense is very uncommon.
- It's just a bunch of overeager project managers trying to turn themselves into verbs.
- Our business strategy is like the world's oldest profession. We'll do anything for money.
- But that's reality. It's like winter: it just happens.
- I thought I told you to bring your BlackBerry back so we can give it to someone who knows what they're doing!!
- That would be like me taking a course in sarcasm.
- When the map and the terrain differ, believe the terrain.
- There's nothing non-stupid about that.
- That question is so bad, it should be taken out back and shot!
- It's a pyramid of marbles. One moves, everything else has to move.
- Don't run off at the mouth. You'll end up tripping over yourself and implicating yourself.
- I'm not a vegetarian. I figure if it's already dead, I might as well eat it. I'll eat anything that had eyelashes.
- You're a walking ROI!
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