Chuck Norris facts for scientists and mathematicians

In the spirit of recent Internet trends describing the phenomenal powers of Chuck Norris, I have come up with some "facts" about Chuck Norris for scientists and mathematicians:
  • Chuck Norris has memorized pi. All of it.
  • Chuck Norris is a phylum unto himself.
  • There is no known cure for Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris went back in time to fight the dinosaurs. The dinosaurs lost.
  • Chuck Norris proved Fermat's Last Theorem.
  • The square root of -1 is Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris can see farther than the Hubble space telescope. Without glasses.
  • The largest prime number is Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris curves space-time.
  • Chuck Norris doesn't believe in e.
  • Chuck Norris can trisect an angle using only a compass and straight edge.
  • Chuck Norris can deliver a fatal roundhouse kick passing through any three noncolinear points.
  • Chuck Norris is NP-complete.
  • The Riemann Hypothesis remains unsolved because it does not factor in Chuck Norris.
  • Not even gravity can defy Chuck Norris. However, Chuck Norris can defy gravity.
  • Chuck Norris is the building block of all matter.
And now for a few more that others have come up with: (Link and Link)
  • There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
  • Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried.
  • Outer space exists because it's afraid of being on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris has counted to infinity - twice.
  • There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
  • The first eclipse took place after Chuck Norris challenged the sun to a staring contest. Chuck Norris always wins.
  • Simply by pulling on both ends, Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal.
  • Chuck Norris has 12 moons. One of these moons is the Earth.
  • Scientists have estimated that the energy given off during the Big Bang was approximately equal to 1 CNRhK (Chuck Norris Roundhouse Kick).
  • (My personal favourite) Chuck Norris can divide by zero.


Sassan Sanei said…
That's a good thing, right? :)
Laura said…
Check out this (from the man himself)!
Sassan Sanei said…
Long time no hear! I hope you're doing well. :) Thanks for the link. Those "facts" are even funnier hearing him read them himself, and hearing the audience's reaction!

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